Ramblings of a delinquent imom

Phew- what a break!  We've had a crazy few months at our house, none of it relating to the eye... or even Tommy for that matter, so I will not bore you with details.

I often am jealous of my fellow imom bloggers- everyone has such an amazing way with words, I am continually impressed with all of them (you!).  I admit, sometimes that holds me back from writing any more on our journey.  I bring this up now, because everyone else has seemed to have had at least one "awesome encounter" with some person who was touched, in some way, by a cataract or patching.  I have one, but be fore-warned, it isn't eloquent or beautifully written!   My husband was pushing Tommy in a stroller at Disney World and ran into someone who came up to him to tell him, "good job with patching, keep it up, my parents didn't and now that eye is all messed up".  Really, that is all I know.  When he told me (hours later) I asked "what did he look like", "what was wrong with his eye", "how old was he?", "did he seem happy, successful, normal?"  And, as you all may guess, each answer was "I don't know!" So for this one, I blame it on the fact that the story occurred between two men, and no details were to be had.  Disappointing, I know, but it is the closest encounter I have had!  Regardless, he was sorry he wasn't patched more.  Rock on imoms who struggle through patching!  They may never fully appreciate it, but they will blame you if you don't!!!
 Imoms- if you will, please share your encounters (or link to the post) in the comments, I'd like to remember them all!

For the most part, Tommy's eye has just been on a steady road.  We are on a relatively easy patch road (much more economical than before!) and are struggling with keeping glasses on (insert mom-guilt here).  Every once in a while I get a sucker-punch from someone who calls attention to the patch in a way that just hits the wrong chord.  The other day it was a little boy in the church nursery.  He was only ~3, so I know it wasn't intentional, but when he shouted "Hey, what's wrong with his eye!?"  it hit me.  Hard.  Tommy will have to deal with that the rest of his life.... or at least until age 9, then who knows?




 

The boy can pose like no other...

Stationery card

Classically Yours Christmas Card

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Baby Bifocals

I rock these glasses!

I'm coming to terms with Tommy having glasses.  I'm not sure Tommy is getting any more comfortable with them, though!  I obsess about them much more than Tommy wears them, but it is progressing.  Sometimes I think he even forgets he is wearing them!

I think the hardest part for me now is that Tommy's glasses are different.  He has one clear side (no prescription) and one bifocal.  A old-person, big line-in the middle bifocal lens.  But just on one side.  I had someone ask me the other day "Oh, did he crack them already?"  Um, NO!  And if he did, do you REALLY think I'd let him wear them?  Or maybe you didn't think I noticed the big crack in the middle and you felt the need to point it out?  Um no.

Back when I couldn't wait for Tommy to get glasses, I never imagined this bifocal line.  From what I understand, children do better with the visible bifocal lens compared to progressive lenses because the difference in vision is drastic enough to help them learn the right place to look.  You need to learn where to look to optimize the utility of the lens.

The kid loves to pose!

When I first picked up Tommy's glasses, they had made them wrong.  They had put bifocals in both lenses.  It took me asking why for the optomotry assistant to notice.  We sent them back and they were corrected, but I was still unsettled.   I was skeptical that anything was right once we got them.  So when I (with my normal vision) looked through the glasses, I was convinced they had done them wrong.  The bottom part of the lens is for close-up vision. When I look through Tommy's, it magnifies thing.  This made sense.  However, when I looked though the top part, which is supposed to correct for distance, it made things smaller.  I was convinced that there was an error.  In my mind, I thought, "no WONDER he won't wear them!"  I was wrong.  I still can't explain it, but I did a lot of research to try.  I was hoping to read up and study and post an earth-shattering educational session on baby-glasses.  Well, I read up, I studied... but in the midst of that, I stumbled upon this.  Little Four Eyes "Understanding your Child's Glasses Prescription".  Super cool site, super-cool post.  Maybe you'll just be impressed at my research skills.  Or more likely, you read that post before you found mine.    I do hope you read this post... and really hope that you check out this link:  What your child's vision might look like without correction

I haven't figured out this glasses thing.  We are still working on it.  I will tell you that it takes a lot of work to get cream cheese out of the bifcal lens line.  I suggest removing glasses before serving anything messy.  I look forward to the day when he chooses to wear them... when they help him see.

Tommy and his big sis!

Tommy gets glasses

Tommy got glasses.  They came.

He hates them.

I hate them.

He needs them.

I know he needs them.

I hate them.

He looks adorable.

People tell me how cute he is.  People notice.  They notice the glasses.  The look questioningly at why only one has a bifocal.   They don't ask, but they notice.  I haven't created my spiel yet.  I will.  But I'm still digesting.  Still processing this latest edition of the eye chronicles.

I think he looks like the kid from Jerry McGuire.  I haven't been able to get "You had me at hello" out of my head.  It's kind of fitting.  He did have me at... well, not hello, but more like "waaaahhhhh".  Same difference.

Eye doctors, ambulances, advice, and labels.

Tommy has had an eventful week.  Which means I had a eventful stressful week!

On Tuesday we saw the ophthalmologist.  The appointment went well, the ophthalmologist gave us a good report.  Tommy appears to use both eyes together- and that always gives me a glimmer of hope.  I still remember the day that Tommy had his cataract removed and the doctor could not guarantee he would ever be able to see out of that eye.  (Yay, it works!)  He said patching appears to be working- and continue to patch 4-6 hours per day (boo to patching!)  He said pressures "look good"  (they are 16 in bad eye and 13 in good eye).  He said- time to order glasses.  The news I've been hoping for and dreading for some time.  I'm hopeful that he will be able to see better, but somehow the glasses make all of this so real.  I know that doesn't make sense- we patch, we deal with contacts, all that is very real, but glasses seem like such a statement to the world.  It just makes my heart feel a little sad.

In the waiting room!

The real excitement has nothing to do with Tommy's eyes.  Tommy got the "back to school virus" and it hit him hard.  He woke up on Wednesday with a runny nose and terrible fussiness.  Me, being the good working mom that I am, gave him albuterol to fend off any breathing problems.  He was afebrile, but I fully planned on sending him to daycare.  His breathing wasn't BAD, just congested.  An hour later it wasn't better, so I gave him another dose (still no wheezing even with a stethoscope).  On my way to daycare, I decide that we should see the doctor that day- just in case- and because I knew our favorite doctor wasn't in the office the next day.  I get the first available appointment, which was in 2 hours.  Not enough time to go to work, but in plenty of time to go to Target!  (We needed a few last minute things for Tommy's sister's birthday).  We leave Target, get to the doctor a few minutes early, and Tommy has progressed to serious respiratory distress (grunting, breathing fast etc).  He gets a few treatments in the office, gets some oxygen, doesn't get better.

Doctor's office (poor baby)

The doctor is concerned enough to make us go to the ER... via ambulance.  Which may make one think that we were immediately whisked away to the hospital (~10 minute drive with traffic).  Ahhh, no.  The ambulance took 15-20 minutes to arrive, much to the doctor's dismay.  Next, the EMTs decide that Tommy needs a CARSEAT to ride to the hospital in.  (No disrespect to any EMT professionals, but, seriously?)  Ok, so we get to the ambulance, DRIVE to my car in the parking lot, 2 EMTs and a security guard attempt to get the seat out of my car.  Did I mention that all 3 of these guys were men in their 50s?  Yep, it was actually funny to watch them try to finagle it out.  They wouldn't let me let go of Tommy since he would scream.  It took them 10 minutes.  Then they couldn't figure out how to attach it to the stretcher.  Genius.  Tommy's dad, who missed my initial texts and was 20 minutes away, beat us to the hospital by a LONG shot.

Tommy strapped in a carseat and strapped to a stretcher.   (huh?)

I totally rock the monitor!

We finally get to the hospital, get admitted, and spend the night.

Sweet sleeping angel

I'm feeling better!

Poor Tommy.  We were discharged and have another new experience under our belts.

Hello Doctor?  Let me go home!!

I am outta here!!

I learned that I am really good at telling people what to do, how to take their medicine, why they need to etc etc etc.  But I am really bad about taking my own advice.  I know he needs medicine, I know why, I know how, I just don't want to.  (I am, don't worry, I am, just doing it reluctantly)

My problem with all of this- is that it is just another LABEL.  Tommy had a cataract.  Tommy wears a contact.  Tommy wears a patch.  Tommy wears glasses.  Tommy has asthma.

I don't want Tommy to be defined by any of these labels.  I don't want people to think of him as "that asthmatic kid with glasses and the small eye".  I don't want people to make judgements that people make when they see my baby.  I guess this is a good learning experience for me, too.  Judging is easy and often makes you feel better about your own situation.  But judging is never good- and is rarely reflective of the whole picture.

THIS is Tommy.