Does the worrying ever really stop?

I like to pretend that I'm all zen with this eye thing.  Or, maybe it is that I'm mostly settled with it all if I don't think about it too hard.  I'm still bothered when someone new asks me something stupid, but those questions get fewer as he gets older.  I'm sure the next step is figuring out how to handle kids teasing.  But, if I don't think about it, life is good.

This just makes me laugh and pretty much sums up his personality.

But there are days when the reality of it all comes crashing into my consciousness.  Maybe I'm being too dramatic.  But I got a call to come get him at daycare because he looked like this:


His left eye is the eye with the contact.

Yikes!  What is that.  An allergy?  Is he sick?  I don't know- still don't know.  I take his contact out, we gave him Benadryl and he was fine within 30 minutes.  Tommy is allergic to hummus, my daycare provider had eaten Tahini sauce earlier in the day- we kinda just assumed he had gotten some on him.  No problems.  

Little puffy, but not so bad. 

The next two days he had a fever and was cranky.  Ok, a virus, right?  I'm still quelling this tendency to freak out.  Sunday- fine, no worries.  Phew.

Monday, fine, slight rash.  I send him to daycare.  He's cranky, my daycare provider is wonderful and deals with it.  I pick him up and he's puffy and cranky.  More Benadryl.  More worry.  Don't know.

Tuesday he wakes up looking like this:


Who is this??

 More panic- he can breathe fine (no asthma) so I give him more Benadryl (which, by the way, does NOT make my boy sleep!) and make an appointment with the doctor.   (By the way, his contact is OUT)

At the doctor's office- he looks slightly rashy, but normal.  No puffy eyes.  No swollen face.  AUGH!  I'm not even sure she believed me!  (I did show her photos- she likely thinks I'm crazy).  She says it's probably Strep.  Really?   He also happens to have a double ear infection (oops, he wasn't complaining of that!)  Good mom award for me (not!)  Augmentin here we go.

Today (Wednesday) he is fine.  Slight rash.  No puffiness.  In the back of my mind, I worry.  What if it's his contact?  Is he allergic to it?  What if it's glaucoma (not saying I'm rational here)?  What if it is....??  Who knows what.

I swear I didn't worry this much with my other 3....

Back to normal!  (Last night- lucky kid is getting a break from contact and patching while I calm myself)

Crumbs and Eggs

I can vividly remember days when I cried and cried wondering if Tommy would ever be able to see out of his eye- heck, I remember wondering if he'd LOSE his eye.  (I'm not pretending these were rational thoughts).  I continually wonder just how much he will see.  He's two- he can't really tell me what he can see, how much he can see, how clearly he can see, and I'm pretty sure that the tests the docs do in the office are not detailed enough for my paranoid mind. 

But, then, I knew.

While patched (with glasses) Tommy picked up a crumb from his highchair tray.  A toast crumb, a little, tiny crumb!  He picked it up and said "What's Dat?"  (Which is favorite phrase right now)  OK, and so at this point I also have to admit it was lunch-time and the crumb was leftover from breakfast, but the point is, HE CAN SEE!

This is a "reenactment" that I made him pose for (after I cleaned up his tray)

He can see out of "the eye".  This eye that has consumed so much of my worry, so much of my thoughts of him.  It works!  Sure, we still have the patching and the bifocals and the 'life is not fair for me' to deal with (or at least, I am anticipating the life is not fair part).  But, it works, IT WORKS!

The "eggs" portion has nothing to do with the eye- but has everything to do with making me smile.  We went to an Easter Egg hunt in town, where you could hunt for 10 eggs, then trade them in for a prize.  Tommy LOVED hunting for eggs- he didn't even care to look in them- just loved collecting them.  But, the poor little guy threw a serious screaming tantrum when we had to turn them in.  Since he is kid #4, this is funny stuff.  Embarrassing, sure, but since he had the patch on, I'm pretty sure people just looked the other way!

Egg hunting is serious business!

On Easter Sunday (the next day) we had an egg hunt at home... Again, didn't care to look in them (these had candy!) just loved collecting them.

Ramblings of a delinquent imom

Phew- what a break!  We've had a crazy few months at our house, none of it relating to the eye... or even Tommy for that matter, so I will not bore you with details.

I often am jealous of my fellow imom bloggers- everyone has such an amazing way with words, I am continually impressed with all of them (you!).  I admit, sometimes that holds me back from writing any more on our journey.  I bring this up now, because everyone else has seemed to have had at least one "awesome encounter" with some person who was touched, in some way, by a cataract or patching.  I have one, but be fore-warned, it isn't eloquent or beautifully written!   My husband was pushing Tommy in a stroller at Disney World and ran into someone who came up to him to tell him, "good job with patching, keep it up, my parents didn't and now that eye is all messed up".  Really, that is all I know.  When he told me (hours later) I asked "what did he look like", "what was wrong with his eye", "how old was he?", "did he seem happy, successful, normal?"  And, as you all may guess, each answer was "I don't know!" So for this one, I blame it on the fact that the story occurred between two men, and no details were to be had.  Disappointing, I know, but it is the closest encounter I have had!  Regardless, he was sorry he wasn't patched more.  Rock on imoms who struggle through patching!  They may never fully appreciate it, but they will blame you if you don't!!!
 Imoms- if you will, please share your encounters (or link to the post) in the comments, I'd like to remember them all!

For the most part, Tommy's eye has just been on a steady road.  We are on a relatively easy patch road (much more economical than before!) and are struggling with keeping glasses on (insert mom-guilt here).  Every once in a while I get a sucker-punch from someone who calls attention to the patch in a way that just hits the wrong chord.  The other day it was a little boy in the church nursery.  He was only ~3, so I know it wasn't intentional, but when he shouted "Hey, what's wrong with his eye!?"  it hit me.  Hard.  Tommy will have to deal with that the rest of his life.... or at least until age 9, then who knows?




 

The boy can pose like no other...

Stationery card

Classically Yours Christmas Card

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Baby Bifocals

I rock these glasses!

I'm coming to terms with Tommy having glasses.  I'm not sure Tommy is getting any more comfortable with them, though!  I obsess about them much more than Tommy wears them, but it is progressing.  Sometimes I think he even forgets he is wearing them!

I think the hardest part for me now is that Tommy's glasses are different.  He has one clear side (no prescription) and one bifocal.  A old-person, big line-in the middle bifocal lens.  But just on one side.  I had someone ask me the other day "Oh, did he crack them already?"  Um, NO!  And if he did, do you REALLY think I'd let him wear them?  Or maybe you didn't think I noticed the big crack in the middle and you felt the need to point it out?  Um no.

Back when I couldn't wait for Tommy to get glasses, I never imagined this bifocal line.  From what I understand, children do better with the visible bifocal lens compared to progressive lenses because the difference in vision is drastic enough to help them learn the right place to look.  You need to learn where to look to optimize the utility of the lens.

The kid loves to pose!

When I first picked up Tommy's glasses, they had made them wrong.  They had put bifocals in both lenses.  It took me asking why for the optomotry assistant to notice.  We sent them back and they were corrected, but I was still unsettled.   I was skeptical that anything was right once we got them.  So when I (with my normal vision) looked through the glasses, I was convinced they had done them wrong.  The bottom part of the lens is for close-up vision. When I look through Tommy's, it magnifies thing.  This made sense.  However, when I looked though the top part, which is supposed to correct for distance, it made things smaller.  I was convinced that there was an error.  In my mind, I thought, "no WONDER he won't wear them!"  I was wrong.  I still can't explain it, but I did a lot of research to try.  I was hoping to read up and study and post an earth-shattering educational session on baby-glasses.  Well, I read up, I studied... but in the midst of that, I stumbled upon this.  Little Four Eyes "Understanding your Child's Glasses Prescription".  Super cool site, super-cool post.  Maybe you'll just be impressed at my research skills.  Or more likely, you read that post before you found mine.    I do hope you read this post... and really hope that you check out this link:  What your child's vision might look like without correction

I haven't figured out this glasses thing.  We are still working on it.  I will tell you that it takes a lot of work to get cream cheese out of the bifcal lens line.  I suggest removing glasses before serving anything messy.  I look forward to the day when he chooses to wear them... when they help him see.

Tommy and his big sis!