Perspective (Again)

As my last post alluded to, things have not been easy in patch-land or contact-land for us.  I've been wallowing in self-pity again (or self- and Tommy-pity).  It is HARD, no two ways about it.  I know deep in my heart that i am so lucky that this EYE is the only thing wrong with Tommy and that so many others deal with so much more.  I know that, and at times, I can appreciate that!  Just not when I'm feeling sorry for myself!

But, like life usually does, I got smacked up side the head with a heavy dose of reality recently.  I was home with 3 of my 4 kids- one of them Tommy, who happened to be sick and whiny (which is why I was home!).  Tommy didn't have a contact or patch in (grr, another long story that involves a long lost contact and another one that failed to arrive!).

This reality came in the form of a tornado- really, a tornado hit near my home last week- rare in our part of the country! A tornado!  Thankfully, we are fine.  (Thankfully, because this mama had no idea it was coming, hadn't listened to the radio or turned on the TV, and we are too far out in the country for any tornado sirens...)  The kids and I watched crazy wind (not abnormal for our area) and hail (well, a little less normal but it happens), but didn't know it was a tornado until much later.  (t started above our house, I didn't see the funnel cloud, and I admit that I am a little disappointed that I didn't see it.  It was visible from my house, had I looked out the right window!  Later people asked if I heard it... they all said it sounded like a train.  Well, I had a crying whiny 1 year old, a sobbing 4 year old (the wind broke her playhouse), and a sassy 7 year old milling about.  Uhhh, no.  I didn't hear anything but our normal ruckus.

Hundreds of people had major damage, many are without homes.  Thankfully no one was hurt or killed.  Thank-you God.

But really.  In relation to all that?  I need to keep perspective.  So it sucks that Tommy wears a patch and loses contacts and I lose my mind.  I have a wonderful family, healthy kids, and an intact home.  I really SHOULDN'T ask for any more.

Easy come... VERY easy go

We lost another contact.... yes, another contact.  Shortest time ever- 8 days.  It was such a nice little contact- +17.  The smallest we've had.  Patch time this past week was, well, less traumatic.  Not easy.  Never easy. 

We've now gone through 9 contacts in 11 months.  In case you were wondering, that is $2,250 worth of contact lenses.  To be fair, 2 of these are still sitting in the little bottles that I've been saving, 2 that we didn't lose but simply had a change in prescription.  One got sent back to B&L because it irritated Tommy's eyes...  But that leaves 6 lost.  Where do these rogue contacts go?  Are they hiding out somewhere with single earrings, caps to chapstick... my lost keyless entry system for a car we no longer have?  To think... I cried over that lost "key" for days and was stressed about paying $75 to have it replaced.  I could buy 3 of them for the cost of ONE contact!
Eight days.  Gone.  This loss was harder for some reason.  Maybe because we were doing OK... we were down to 3 patches per day (from 8-10) and it slipped in so nicely and out so easily.  First try,no tears, no red eyes.  Maybe because I feel guilt for letting him cry for a little bit during his nap.  That is likely when he lost it.  I let him cry because he NEEDED his nap and I NEEDED his nap...  And now the contact is gone.
Worse, I let a beautiful, sunny,  60 degree day (rare here in Michigan in March) slip by without enjoying it.  I spent the whole day inside searching... searching.  The crib, the clothes, the sheets, even his diaper in case he ate it.  I know, I know, but that is the desperation I was feeling.  I didn't find it.

Tommy gets a few days without the contact/patching drama.  And still I mourn that stupid little piece of silicone.  Curse that little white spot and curse that stupid little contact.