But, like life usually does, I got smacked up side the head with a heavy dose of reality recently. I was home with 3 of my 4 kids- one of them Tommy, who happened to be sick and whiny (which is why I was home!). Tommy didn't have a contact or patch in (grr, another long story that involves a long lost contact and another one that failed to arrive!).
This reality came in the form of a tornado- really, a tornado hit near my home last week- rare in our part of the country! A tornado! Thankfully, we are fine. (Thankfully, because this mama had no idea it was coming, hadn't listened to the radio or turned on the TV, and we are too far out in the country for any tornado sirens...) The kids and I watched crazy wind (not abnormal for our area) and hail (well, a little less normal but it happens), but didn't know it was a tornado until much later. (t started above our house, I didn't see the funnel cloud, and I admit that I am a little disappointed that I didn't see it. It was visible from my house, had I looked out the right window! Later people asked if I heard it... they all said it sounded like a train. Well, I had a crying whiny 1 year old, a sobbing 4 year old (the wind broke her playhouse), and a sassy 7 year old milling about. Uhhh, no. I didn't hear anything but our normal ruckus.
Hundreds of people had major damage, many are without homes. Thankfully no one was hurt or killed. Thank-you God.
But really. In relation to all that? I need to keep perspective. So it sucks that Tommy wears a patch and loses contacts and I lose my mind. I have a wonderful family, healthy kids, and an intact home. I really SHOULDN'T ask for any more.
I am glad you guys are ok.... This tornado business is crazy right now.
ReplyDeleteI would like to point out here that it is perfectly alright to grieve the loss of the perfect health of your child. (I hope anyway.) It might be "just one eye" (I hear that all the time.) But it is an all consuming eye. He can't use his good eye normally for the first 8 years of his life. I think if you don't mourn the loss of a "normal" existence for your kiddo's life, it would be hard to gain perspective. I think grief is a normal part of gaining acceptance of the situation. It is hard. PERIOD.
There is nothing easy about this. It is a crazy mix of emotions. One to which I don't have all the answers. But I do know from experience, if you let you yourself grieve, acceptance is right around the corner. I still get angry/sad at times. Most of the time though I realize that he is truly going to be alright. This isn't a death sentence. This is just a really hard start to a life filled with possibilities.
Wow, Missy couldn't have said it any better!!!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell you I am glad everyone is ok!!! And yes, perspective is a great thing... But, I also wanted to say your allowed to have a pity party for as long as you need. Moving through your feelings is healthier for everyone instead of just trying to ignore or dismiss them.
Missy is soooo right on.
I totally agree with Amanda & Missy. "It is hard. PERIOD." I only have one kid who doesn't even have to wear the contact, but it drives me crazy. CRAZY. I have to really fight to keep myself from becoming bitter and resentful of other people. And, of course it could be worse, but that doesn't mean it isn't frustrating right now.
ReplyDeletehang in there, get frustrated.
:)
It is hard. The whole thing is hard. The whole thing sucks.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's funny...as annoying as it is when others tell me I could have it worse, it does make me feel better when I tell myself that.
So glad that you guys are safe.
Big hugs.
I agree with Karla - it sucks when someone else tells you it could be worse, but I feel better if I tell that to myself!
ReplyDeleteSo glad your house is okay. We had crazy weather too, and 2000 dollars of hail damage to a vehicle. Oh well.
I agree with Missy - go ahead and grieve. Even if no one in your "real" life understands - we do. We know how painful it is to accept that something is wrong with our perfect babies. I'm still in the middle of that process and sometimes the pain of patching, contacts and realizing how long this battle will be literally takes the breath out of me. I am hoping that acceptance is around the corner.
I thought it was comforting that your house is as crazy as mine and that when a tornado strikes and the chaos inside the house is even greater. Feels good to hear all of this openness about the negative that comes with the issues we are facing. I find that hearing all of you girls admit that it is hard is healing to my soul. It. Is. Hard. Being real about that is allowing me to move on to what is unbelievably wonderful about my life. Thanks to all of you.
ReplyDeleteThank-you all! I meant for this post to be slightly funny... in that my world is so crazy, that I didn't even register a tornado around my house! (It literally formed above my house!) I know that mourning is healthy (and I fully revel in that some days!) and I agree, it is so freeing to be able to tell myself that it could be worse. I still would like to roll around screaming and whining some days (ie act like my 4 year old)! Wouldn't that be fun... for just ONE day... to let it all out?
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading all you "eye moms"! You make this journey so much more bearable!